Miracle's Treacherous Trickeries
by Luma-Nose Mole
Summary: Evil teachers, plenty of pranks, and a revenge to rock Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry off it's socks. The Marauders and I are the saviors of our sixth year. And let me tell you, Sirius Black has one sexy arse. Rated T for language. *Note: Previously uploaded on my old account: MoodBeam.*


_Hello! Maybe some of you reading this have noticed that there is an (almost) exact duplicate of this story on , so please allow me to explain why. I opened a new account (one I hope to update at a more frequent rate than the other), and wanted to make this story the first one on this account. I edited this chapter just recently, so hopefully it's a little better than before._

_Enjoy!_

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Promising businesses always begin with something that touches the founder in the heart. That's how mine began.

It was a warm summer's day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the sun was shining out of everybody's ass. Everyone was positively joyful, and I don't use 'positively' in sentences so often. All was well except in one class.

Divination.

Of course, divination was a fine class, but the professor had a problem with bad students. She was only there for a year, but Professor Bellua made quick business of feeding off of student's misery in that time slot. Specifically mine.

Being the third year student I was, innocent and sweet, I didn't see it coming. On that cheerful, sunny day, I decided to share my colorful prediction on the fortune-telling class to my fellow students.

"I predict," I began dreamily as I stuck my chin in the air and rubbed my temples thoughtfully, "Bellua will face her destiny today. Oh, yes, I see…I see…dung bombs and-Oh, what is this? No marriage! Poor dear. At least I see cats, too."

"Hello, my children," a similar dreamy voice greeted as she glided into the classroom, her robes bellowing behind her, "I see dim futures in this room today..." Her eyes flashed up at me briefly before turning to the rest of her students, who were scrambling from around my desk and back to their own. "WAIT!" Her entire body stiffened as though she was spontaneously paralyzed, and her arm extended out in front of her, searching for a non-existent fortune to share. Her eyes shifted ominously to me. "I'm sensing something...yes, from a student..." she began, walking dangerously close to my desk, "Miss Miracle!" She turned to look disbelievingly at me.

"Professor Bellua!" I mimicked and she glared, but nonetheless kept her act going.

"You didn't complete last night's assignment?" she interrogated in melodramatic "shock".

However, I had completed the dumb homework, and as always, it contained the drama she gobbled up. So, being as clever as I was I smiled and said, "Professor, of course I have it. I'll show-"

"No, you don't! I saw it with my own third eye!" She whipped her head to the side theatrically.

"Wait, I do, just let me-" I tried again with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't try to make me feel better." She whipped her head to the other side.

Gritting my teeth at her melodrama, I stupidly did the only thing I could think of doing. Insult her.

"No, you old hag, I'm _not _trying to make you feel better! Just let me show you my bloody homework!" The room went dead silent. That crow didn't even attempt to hide the satisfaction on that filthy grin of hers.

"To the Headmaster's office, Miss Miracle!" she ordered, " Now!"

"I hope you enjoy your cats..." I mumbled under my breath in a huff as I slid my books into my bag.

"What was that, Miss Miracle?" Bellua taunted as she turned back to the front of the class.

"I'm going to enjoy, er, sniffing my cats..." I hurriedly sputtered out, mentally mugging myself in a dark alley. A blush bit into each of my cheeks as the whole class began to erupt in laughter and Bellua stood wickedly grinning at the front of her class.

Sweet memories.

Ever since that day, I made it a goal to obtain revenge on evil and unfair teachers. My first revenge carried out nicely with dear Professor Bellua as a practice subject. Oh, and was it sweet…

"Felines!" a horrified Bellua cried out as she dashed from the crowd of cats running after her. Putting catnip in her laundry still stands to this day as the greatest and wisest decision I will ever make.

The Divination class was practically doubled over with laughter as their teacher galloped around the classroom, hurtling a cat occasionally and shrieking as a new kitty came into the room with a "mreow". She was quite majestic, actually.

No one could have enjoyed that day more than I did though. Not. One. Person. Yeah, I got a week of detention, but it was so worth it.

My experience with Professor Bellua sparked something in me. How many students are unjustly punished, I asked myself. But that was only one question on my mind, because then I wondered how could I help them?

With the witness of my faithful companions, Alice Prewett and Lily Evans, I envisioned a company that could get revenge on slimy teachers.

And, lo, through the assist of a few dung bombs and magic tricks, Miracle's Treacherous Trickeries was born.

From one to ten Galleons (depending on the situation), any student could experience the sweet taste of revenge on the teacher of their choice. And for that amount of money, I could work with clients to arrange a prank worthy of that particular professor's injustice.

Life was good. Despite the frequent pranks, some teachers didn't completely hate me and I got to have fun most days of the week while making a Galleon out of it.

And then sixth year hit.

The year began normally with a couple of students asking me for a favor at King's Cross Station and the occasional deal on the Hogwarts Express. Then the middle of the year came, and more and more students wanted in. I began to become overwhelmed…

"Bollocks," I twirled around a few times before falling on the couch in the Gryffindor common room and onto Lily and Alice. They grunted in unison under my weight. "Why are the teachers at Hogwarts such prats?"

A faint mutter came from above ("1...2...3!"). Before I knew it, my body was forced off the Prewett/Evans couch. They laughed as I flailed and groaned on the floor, and a few nearby people joined my friend's laughter.

"Now, what's wrong?" Lily wiped a tear from her eye before interrogating my distress as a mother would. She always played the role of a parent in our circle of friends. Always. At times it became a bit bothersome, but without it I would probably be expelled by second year.

I flipped on my back like a pancake gets turned on a pan only to find Lily's gentle emerald eyes looking down on me. Alice simply raised an eyebrow.

"I can't do it anymore. I have to stop this business. It's bloody exhausting." Lily's eyes suddenly had a sense of victory clouding them. It was typical of her to act in such a way; she hated my business from the start. After all, she _was_ a prefect.

"About time!" I winced at her pleased grin. "That pranking business is only for no good trouble makers like Pott-!"

"Lilykins!" I couldn't help but grin as Lily's face blanched to the singsong voice of James Potter. The common room hushed to amused murmurs as the Marauders strolled in through the portrait hole. The four boys had an air of pride emanating off of them as though that room was theirs and theirs alone. And it was. "You _do _look simply ravishing this evening, love!" James grinned charmingly, but Lily scowled in disgust.

The Marauders were the popular, pulchritudinous, pranksters of Hogwarts. James was without a doubt the ringleader of the boys. With his messy black hair and exceptional skills on a broom, one could say that he was quite the desirable lad, and a heartbreaker at that; there was only one girl James had his eye on, and she couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him.

Black was James' best mate. All the girls swooned over Sirius. He was devilishly handsome, mysterious, and also willing to bring any girl into the nearest broom closet with the exception of the size of her breasts…I mean her heart.

Remus Lupin had a brain, and that discovery amazed and baffled James and Sirius so much that they just had to let him hang around. At least that was the most logical conclusion I came to. Remus was actually a very sweet and intelligent lad that served as a prefect alongside Lily. At first glance, he didn't seem much of a troublemaker at all, but let it be known that looks are deceiving. There was a much darker side to Remus Lupin that lay beneath the surface…and it was most likely among a layer of chocolate. How that boy loved chocolate…

The fourth and final boy with the title "marauder" was little Peter Pettigrew. Peter was a plump boy with watery, beady little eyes and mousy hair. Truth be told, most weren't positive whether he was actually a marauder at all; all the lad ever did was try and capture some of the glory that radiated off of the legends-in-the-making.

Nonetheless, all four were kings among peasants. Their word was law and their presence, divine. Most would think twice to oppose them, but not Lily. And oh, how she _hated _them…

"Potter, you simply _do _know how to make a girl's face go green, don't you?" she mimicked him with a sarcastic smile. James' grin was wiped clean off his face as the room erupted with snorts of laughter. However, as quick as it had vanished it returned along with a shrug and an undamaged ego.

God bless that boy.

"Worth a shot," he admitted with a wink, "Oi, Miracle! C'mere a moment, will you?"

"What?" I griped indignantly, "Why can't we talk here?" I felt no rush of stamina, nor any willpower, to move, though I was achingly aware he probably wanted to talk business. Miracle's Treacherous Trickeries and the Marauders go way back to third year with the partnership to prank Slughorn, the Potions professor. We were all wide eyed and open jawed to find he had a good laugh out of it. Even so, I was experiencing a mental turmoil, and really did not have the time or endurance to get creative with the boys that evening.

James rolled his eyes but Sirius grinned and called across the room, "No, no, love, you have it all wrong! You forgot your bra in our dormitory!" I don't believe I ever jerked upright faster in my life. "I've never seen such a small cup size!" The common room burst into more fits of laughter as I scrambled heatedly off the floor red-faced. He looked damn well pleased with himself, that boy. Oh, was I determined to slug that smile off his face, too…

"Alright, alright! Black, you son of a bitch!" He let out a sound of protest as my knuckles disheveled his thick, dark locks. Note: noogies ares the best form of instant revenge for the overly groomed male. While it was fun, it's not like he wasn't right. I was a tall, lanky girl, around 5 feet and 10 inches, and perhaps even taller. My height really stretched out my body, making it so I had no boobs, no butt, and no curves.

As for Lily and Alice, they were practically goddesses. Lily was gorgeous. Her copper hair was at least five shades of red that, whenever caught in daylight, boldly challenged the sun to emanate a greater spectacle. Her eyes, on the other hand, were gentle and mystifying. The contrast of sparkling green against brilliant red was breathtaking to any bystander and definitely worth a double take.

Alice was a darker, more enchanting display. Her short black hair and dark eyes gave her the affect of a mischievous character at heart. Her round face was warm and friendly and attracted suitors by the bucket. However, she ignored them, for she had her eyes on one person and one person only, and that was Frank Longbottom.

"Okay, Boobless, give it a rest." James grinned as he pulled me away from Sirius. I let out a loud laugh at the nickname. How true.

"Okay, Jamesie, what is it I can be of service to?" I asked, secretly hopeful the boys had something in mind for the curious behavior of the professors of late.

"Well," he began as he lazily put an arm over my shoulder, but settled with my waist soon after; his elbow was tilting up at a rather uncomfortable angle. "My lads and I have noticed that your business has been becoming frequent and more sloppy."

"You lot aren't doing so hot yourself." I snapped.

Unlike the annoyed expression I imagined would appear on his face to my cranky demeanor, he grinned. "Exactly," James said, "Which is why I propose we, the Marauders, team up with you, my dear, for the sake of the school."

I nodded uncertainly, but listened nonetheless. Realistically, how would more pranks help the situation at hand?

"We realize it's not our best plan…" Remus spoke as if reading my mind.

A nagging voice in the back of my head told me to back out of whatever the lads were scheming, however that voice merely whispered compared to the howling mischief that smothered it since the day I was born.

These are the days that began…everything.

My name is Libra Miracle.

Call me Billie.


End file.
